FIREFIGHTER’S WORDS -331- WORDS FROM AN EMT
THIS IS PART II OF A MULTI PART SERIES WRITTEN BY AN EMT – IT DESCRIBES THE WAY HE DEALS WITH TRAGEDY
SEE PART I ON YESTERDAY’S BLOG
We all have fears of seeing things we don’t want to see. We all have our own convictions. One type of call I am talking about for myself are pediatric calls. Not a simple fall or bump to the head, I am talking about trauma, death and abuse as well as terminal illness. To face your fears when responsibility is upon you is the hardest task you will ever have to do. I have been face to face with this more than I care to remember.
To me there is no call that comes over the radio or intercom that creates emotion like a baby not breathing or child hit by car. Having had deceased children in my care is something that I can never forget. You can forget the elder that passes, you can forget an MVA that someone was injured or the countless drug overdoses you have encountered but you never forget the deceased or severely injured kid calls. These calls can end career of some of the best EMS providers out there.
The human mind can only take so much cumulative stress. This type of call revisits you at any given time, maybe passing by the house or the scene of the call. seeing temporary memorial placed at the scene where a young life was tragically taken, or seeing the parents sometime after the incident.
There are certain things you remember when faced with these calls. I remember facial features, I remember hair color and injuries. I can remember intubating these kids, doing IO needles and the horrible feeling associated with them. I remember the parent’s anguish and onlookers crying at the tragic event that took place before them. I remember hospital staff working to save a life. I remember losing the battle, giving report and then hiding in a bathroom and downloading my emotions alone. The time to break down is not when the treatment is taking place, not when the greatest responsibility of a life is in your hands. I am charged with saving lives, that is my job.
