I spent 10 years as a Chief Officer in Northern California. One of my duties was to supervise the County Arson Unit. On one hot summer day in the year following the post 9-11 terrorist attacks, I was dispatched to assist in the investigation of a river bottom wildland fire on the Stanislaus River. When I arrived I found my duty investigator and an investigator from CDF working the area where the fire was first observed by witnesses. As we searched the area we came upon a small black plastic box with flashing LED lights on it. It was partially damaged by the fire and looked like a possible high tech timing device.

Being fully trained in terrorist threats, and intending to live beyond our shift, we backed away from the device and continued to observe it from behind a vehicle. About that time the Incident Commander called on the radio and wanted to know if we had a cause. I told him we were working on a significant development and that I would face-to-face with him in a few minutes.

Just as I got off the radio one of the local firefighters walked up and asked what we were looking at. When we pointed out the device with the flashing LED’s he said, “looks like someone lost their boat GPS.” Seems our suspicious device was a melted, early model boating GPS disfigured by flames.

After we got done laughing, I was reminded that I promised the IC a face-to-face to discuss a “significant development.” I knew that I couldn’t admit to getting wound up about melted plastic and we started trying to come up with an idea. About that time I looked down on the ground and saw a broken letter opener shaped like a Samurai sword. I promptly placed the 3 inches of broken letter opener in an evidence envelope and filled out the collection information. Then knowing that the area was famous for the number of squirrels, I headed for the incident command post.

When I pulled up, the IC himself a former Fire Marshal, looked at the evidence envelope and then at me. When he asked what we found for a cause, I looked him right in the eye, pulled out the broken letter opener, handed it to him to look at, and with a straight face told him we found the cause. “Ninja Squirrels must have hit a rock during sword practice. Caused a spark, caught the dry grass on fire and …” The IC who had heard almost everything in his 30 years in the fire service just smiled and shook his head.

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